Are You A Pick Me? Pt 2
Keeping up with Joseline as a theme.
It’s a week later and we hope you all were able to reflect on last week’s list. Number 6 is about to really hit close to home but this is for Us. It’s time to get back in that mirror, point at yourself and say, “I am not a Pick Me.” That was actually for myself because whooo does number 6 hit home, but you know what let’s just get into it….
6. Believing you have to go through a hazing process for “love”
I’ve been that girl so yall don’t even have to slide up in my DMs or send me screenshots. I’m self aware! I get it, at one point in time I had pick me tendencies. But Tiff did that so hopefully you won’t have to go through that.
God is not hazing you into a wife, I promise. That man doesn’t care how much pain he’s putting you through. He’s not going to change the more he sees you cry. You’re starting to look like a mule and he’s going to just keep adding to the load. So avoid the “Even through the ups and downs…” posts because it reads as he cheated a lot and I stayed loyal so I hope my pain pays off.
7. You’re the “That’s why I don’t have friends that are women” – type.
It really just sounds like you have poor social skills and never developed in areas that are required to have interpersonal relationships. You know what, just for good measure I’ll also add in the “I can’t hang out with all these single girls, if I’m married/committed relationship” –type because dumb. None of these statements set you apart. They both show your life and self worth revolve around being in a relationship.
8. Needing explanation from women because holding men accountable is too much effort
When women accuse men of abuse, sexual assault, or any misconduct you’re quick to ask questions that place blame on the victim. “What did you do?” “Why didn’t you…?” Holding men accountable is way too much effort for you. I’m not sure if you just want to be desired by them or if you are completely aware that the standard for men is ridiculously low. Either way, stop that shit. Black women support each other too much. Stop sitting on the sidelines and join this wave. Life is better over here.
9. You’re so independent but your independence is a farce to not require anything of him
You love free dates because it’s all about time. You don’t need him to help you pay your bills, because you got this. Even if he is always there eating all your food and using your good heat, again you just enjoy his time. Free advice: whether men have it or not, for a women they want, they will make a way. So if your plan is to show that man you’re a wife until he makes you one, make sure he’s showing you he’s a husband too.
10.….
This isn’t a point, I couldn’t come up with ten, so I will leave you all with this. Pick mes, please pick yourself. You want a good man? He’ll come when you’re a whole person and that’s exactly what you should also expect from him. Love yourself enough for everyone to see your worth and if they don’t curve them. It’s simple. I say this often, “there’s only one of two things that can happen in every relationship. You either stay together or break up”. Breaking up really isn’t the end of the world. Shit being single isn’t either.
So if you want to make some friends with other popping Black Girls to boost morale so you can go into the summer 2020 a Hot Girl that’s ready to find a husband or have fun trying then come to some Nubian Shorties Night Out Events. The only thing I turn down is my collar so let’s be friends, just cut that pick me shit out.
If you can come up with a tenth pick me sign let us know in the comments !
